Sunday, May 13, 2007

Creation Myth

Once upon a time, long long ago, the Goddess Altana looked upon the world of Vana'diel and saw that something was dreadfully absent. And see this, Altana picked up a Tiny Mandragora from Windurst, and imbued upon it the form and function of a hume male. Why Altana did so, I can only hope the Star Sybil knows.

The Tiny Mandragora reformed, the Goddess Altana bestowed upon him the name of "Therelith" and loosed him upon San d'Oria, because San d'Oria needed some real loosening after the Kingly Decree of 847 that required that all adult Elvaan wear a darksteel rod up their posterior.

So, lost in San d'Oria and clueless of what to do next, Therelith found three objects: a sword, a scroll of Dia, and a pickle, and suddenly he knew what to do. He ate the scroll, poked a moogle with the sword, and stuck the pickle in his ears. When the people inside the pickle started talking, it changed the course of his life forever, though a league of 50 white mages has yet to cure him of the Talking Pickle Disease. Nor has the San d'Orian League of Decency made any headway on combating his Chocomog Bordello.

Over the years, Therelith followed his destiny, to spread Altana's Gospel of Chocobo and Moogle loving and to test the limits of how much pimp clothing a single human male can wear before going completely blind. Both Cieria and I salute you today.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Besieged: The Trolling

We return to Al Zhabi fresh from our exploits in Korroloka, Cie a Paladin, I a Ranger. It's been a successful day, we're much stronger coming out than we were coming in. We return to the sounds of sirens wailing through Aht Urgan, the sounds of undead moans fade. No time for rest though, the trolls are on their way, and Cie and I must ready ourselves to meet them.

The hume Therelith waits for us outside the gates, and we band together. He is weary, and he greets us with the news that three generals have already succumbed to the undead. We prepare, hurry up and wait, as the sin hunters say. We try to relax, but the tension overwhelms us, and only Ettie can rest as the sirens rise to a screaming pitch.

Bomb smoke rises over the gates, and the clank of heavy armor announces the arrival of the troll mercenaries. We wince but General Najelith and General Mihli fortify us for the battle ahead. Our reserves are slim, our kits nearly empty, and Qiquirn fighters the only allies us midland adventurers have. But we brace ourselves for the battle ahead.

The nimble Vyuvurjar appears, and with all our breath, ignoring scorpions, trolls, and bombs, we chip away his health. The General Najelith leads us, and our healers remain back to keep her healthy. Wherever Vyuvurjar runs, we follow. And he falls, but in having fallen, our troop loses direction.

The notorious and menacing Gurfurlar appears, and some of our number chase him, as futile as it is to stop him before his minions fall. And while Vyuvurjar fell quickly, his comrade the claviger Xarhorkur refuses to go quietly. His hammer pounds my bones and my mind into unconsciousness, and even after we wake, my body still stings from the resonance of every hit.

Cieria and I seek shelter to recover from our wounds, and get perhaps a moments refuge from the battle. My stomach tosses as the shouts reach across the city. "The Galeserpent General has fallen! Protect the Cat General!" I know only General Mihli binds the Hall of Binding, but the ache and the weariness override that knowledge, I stay put, only to hear that she too has been captured by the trolls.

Cieria, Therelith and I rush to the Hall of Binding, our bodies to be the obstacle between the invaders and the Astral Candescence. Scorpions wait for us, their tails poised to strike any who catch their attention, several times their attacks leave me unable to move, and I must cure myself. Cieria falls and rises only to fall again. Ettie herself has risen and fallen so many times, I wonder if she is not a mere wyvern, but instead the legendary Phoenix.

The scorpions fall, and only the bombs are clearing the way. We lure them out of the hall and back into the city proper. Cieria waits in the hall, in case they come back, while Ther and I emerge, looking for Xarhorkur. We find him, and I ready my polearm. I fall again, his hammer striking a blow that enters my left temple and reverberates throughout the party.

I retreat again, my body has given out. I've drawn on Ettie's strength twice already, and the the many hammer blows have given me a permanent case of the shakes. I stumble to an unoccupied corner and recover from the ordeal.

Meanwhile, the immediate threat from the Hall of Binding subsides, and Cieria walks to the square, and Therelith has retreated into another corner. The worst of the exhaustion leaves me, and I hop to my feet. Xarhorkur and his hammer must be punished.

I cannot battle Xarhorkur directly, but I let my Jumps carry me. Cieria, Therelith, and I support each other. We will not fall again. The Troll ranks thin out, and finally, they retreat. The Astral Candescence remains safe. And we have one last surprise.

Thanks to some of our fellow adventurers, the General Zazarg returns in the nick of time to congratulate us on our victory and give us leave to enjoy some breads and rice.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Windy 8-1

Cie Here! /waves
So, me, Jaish, Kys, and Solly were contracted by the Aurastry to hunt down their missing minister.
We were each given a 'guide' in the form of a smart-assed talking doll.

The Doll lead us north, to the ruins of Ro'Maeve, where he was receiving strong energy readings from the Qu'Hau Spring.
Unfortunately, The Minister wasn't there, just some short, tonberry looking thing, which freaked the Doll out.

Well, after the Doll calmed down, he pointed us south, to the orcish stronghold of Davoi.
We soon found the minister, there, holding back a wave of orcs.

He told us that he was waiting for backup from San d'Oria, and that if he left his position, they'd be overwhelmed by orcs. He also mentioned that there was an orc nearby using curse wands to weaken his efforts to keep the orcs at bay (hint hint)
So, we all set out to crack some skulls and take some wands.
We got kinda bored while waiting for the NM, so we rested on his couch till he showed up.
he wasn't happy to see us. ;.;

Anyway, long story short, we asked nicely for his wands, and he refused, so we had to crack some skulls....
We took the wands back to the Minister, and found out that we was leading a double life as a female taru penpal for Prof. Koru-Moru. (cool points +5)

We then went back to the Aurastery in Windurst, to report what we found to Moreno-Toreno, who seemed shocked that the doll had given us wrong directions, but decided that it was nothing to worry about... I'm not so sure >.>